


it's simple, I promised you

by PastaBagel



Series: A Different World [1]
Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, But it's only implied, I know you see that Misato/Shinji tag, Multi, this story is probably just as confusing as the series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:41:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25777570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PastaBagel/pseuds/PastaBagel
Summary: Misato Katsuragi is a fairly normal person, well sort of, her drinking habits might need some work, but that’s the least of her problems. Things start to get weird when she starts working at NERV, two of the higher-ups keep calling her a Major even when they clearly outrank her, plus wasn’t even a Major, and her boyfriend has started looking down the rabbit hole of looking into NERV’s inner mysteries which could only lead to the two of them getting fired. But what exactly was the Third Impact? And why does she keep seeing a young boy in her dreams? *Follows the manga version of events, with hints of the original and Rebuild* *SPOILERS FOR THE END OF THE MANGA AND END OF EVA MOVIE* *Possible spoilers for minor parts of Eva*
Relationships: Ikari Shinji/Katsuragi Misato, Ikari Shinji/Nagisa Kaworu, Kaji Ryouji/Katsuragi Misato
Series: A Different World [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1870051
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	it's simple, I promised you

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time actually posting a fanfic I've written so we'll see how this goes.
> 
> It will go ahead and warn you that the characters act OOC, because these are different people with different experiences and a completely different world to boot. They have their basic characteristics but they have been shaped by different events in their lives. 
> 
> This is also only the first part of this series(I guess?) so if things seem unexplained, it will be explained at some point, trust me. 
> 
> I don't own nor claim to own Neon Genesis Evangelion or it's characters.

NERV’s main headquarters rested quietly in the outskirts of Mt. Fuji, it was about 7 miles away from the towering, snow-capped volcano. It was also about 55 miles away from Tokyo, there were a couple of villages that were peppered across the land but they mainly were for the traditional folk of Japan, they stuck to themselves and weren’t big fans of the countless foreigners that came in and out of NERV. Which is why the base had its own barracks for its permanent residents and visitors alike, being a major branch of the JSDF, which in turn was a branch of the UN, gave you privileges like that, but NERV wasn’t like any of the other branches in the Japanese military. It was mainly a peacekeeping organization going on in-country and international trips to help anyone that was in need earthquakes on the mainland to food drives in the Middle East, it was ironic that NERV was even part of the military but the organization did have it’s dark side.

There were rumors of covert intelligence operations occurring in the countries that NERV had set up its relief programs and even inhumane research projects. The former was more of an open secret to the world, the UN liked to keep tabs on everyone in the world after having a major war like the one 15 years ago that nearly wiped out said world. Japan was one of the few countries that was left intact so it absorbed itself into the United Nations so it could survive and in the ashes of the Japanese military, NERV was born. But the latter part of the rumors was based on claims of disgruntled ex-members like Dr. Fuyutsuki, who was the most vocal about spreading these rumors. Most people tended to ignore people like Fuyutsuki, however, people like Misato’s boyfriend didn’t ignore, but actively listened to him like it was gospel.

“I really wish you wouldn’t listen to those conspiracy theories, Kaji” signed Misato as she waited for the light to turn green.

“He makes a lot of valid points, Misato! Don’t you find it strange that NERV just randomly shows up after a major war and then basically takes over the Japanese military and becomes the UN’s lapdog?!” yelled Kaji, taking a quick drag from his barely lit cigarette.

“The world was at a strange place, NERV just had good timing. If you don’t like them, then why did you take this job with me?” asked Misato, pressing the gas pedal to make her banged-up white sports car drive past the streetlight.

“So, I could be with you, why else?” smiled Kaji.

“Smart answer, but I really hope you don’t have any stupid ideas. It took a lot of string pulling to get us this job or would you rather be stuck back in that backwater village?” 

“Fair point, but it’s not like we’re doing anything major. You just get to translate papers all day and make sure they get to the right people, I just get to make sure idiots didn’t break any vehicles or weapons or both” grumbled Kaji.

“But still, it’s at NERV! Just think of the career advances we could get!”

“After, like 20 plus years. We’re still young, Misato. Those “career advancements” might take a while” joked Kaji, pulling out another cigarette and lighting it.

The white sports car pulled into the entrance gate of the 300-acre base, the snow-capped Mt. Fuji towered over the square, grey minimalist triangle that was NERV headquarters. The main base wasn’t as tall as expected, most like only about 142 ft, but the Tokyo styled apartments buildings to the left and right of base looked to be slightly taller. For the insane amount of money that NERV had, you would think they would put more money into their architecture.

The uniformed, blue helmet guard gave them a stern look and held out his hand for their identification cards. Which the two young adults readily gave him, he studied the cards and their faces for what seemed like forever.

“Are you 1LT Misato Katsuragi?” asked the guard sternly.

“Yes, sir!” saluted Misato.

“And are you 1LT Ryoji Kaji?”

“Yes, sir” said Kaji, giving him a more relaxed salute than his companion.

“Go to your right to the apartments, your room is one the second floor, numbered 217JO. Once you unpack, you are to report to your briefing with Commander Ikari at 1700. Make sure to show in your white dress uniform. Understand?”

“Yes, sir” the two young officers said in unison. 

Misato rolled up her car window and drove in the direction of their new home, she was incredibly thrilled to learn that she and Kaji were allowed to live in the same room. NERV seemed to be a bit lenient when it came to workplace relationships, at least according to her contact in NERV. Most of the time, the higher-ups didn’t want non-married couples to live together, or to even happen in the military for that matter, but sometimes you could branch into bases that were more relaxed about those rules. Misto parked her car, into what she assumed as her designated parking spot, since it had the room number painted in white letters that were squeezed into the spot’s small space.

“All right! Let’s get unpacked and ready!” cheered Misato.

Kaji went around to the trunk, opened it and got the few bags of luggage that they owned, mostly just clothes and some other possessions like jewelry and books. The couple never really had the time nor the money to spend on the material things in the world, unless you count cigarettes and beer which the two seemed to have plenty of money to spend on. Misato grabbed the cooler, full of beer cans, and the plastic cage that held her black and white Japanese bobtail, affectionately named Pen-Pen. Misato had found the little guy shortly after she had joined the JSDF hiding behind a dumpster in some dirty alleyway, she had practically begged the senior officers to let her keep the cat, saying that he would be good for morale, and the rest is history.

The couple stepped into the small apartment, took off their shoes at the grey-tiled entrance, set their things down on the dining room table and let Pen-Pen out of his cage so he could get adjusted to their new home. Misato put the beer in the fridge, while Kaji put their clothes in the bedroom closet. 

“Are you getting excited Kaji?” called out Misato, who was in the kitchen.

“Depends on what you mean by excited” joked Kaji from the other room.

That comment earned Kaji a glare and shoe playfully thrown at him, the two of them laughed as they kissed each other deeply, getting a little too caught up in the moment of the warm embrace of their arms tangling together. Misato’s eye glanced at the overhead clock in the bedroom door frame.

She quickly pulled away and cursed “Shit! We need to get dressed!”

The two hastily got dressed into their white dress military uniforms, locked the door behind them and jumped into the car. They ran into the main building, sprinting past the similar looking hallways all while not realizing that they had no idea where they were going.

“Kaji, do you know where we’re even going?” gasped Misato.

“No? I thought you did!” exclaimed Kaji.

“Shit, uh...that’s not good” muttered Misato, while Kaji groaned audibly.

“Are you lost?” asked a soft, just barely above a whisper, voice in front of them.

The two looked at the stranger who suddenly appeared before them, he wore plain blue jeans with a black t-shirt under a pure white doctor's coat, with a name tag that read ‘Dr. Kaworu Nagisa, Deputy Commander’,and a grey belt that had the tab extended out and slightly hanging from a pant loop with solid black tennis shoes. His clothes complimented his appearance, with his short silver-white slightly spiky hair, pale white skin, blood-red eyes that greatly stood out and a slight smile.

Misato's eyes widened and she bowed her body, almost touching the ground.

“Misato?” questioned Kaji, who got smacked on the thigh. He took it as a sign to bow as well, so he did although he didn’t know who he was bowing to. 

“Greetings, Dr. Nagisa. I am 1LT Katsuragi and this is my companion, 1LT Kaji. I was the one you spoke to you about being branched to NERV.” explained Misato.

“Ah, I see, the one from Germany? Correct?” wondered Dr. Nagisa.

“Yes, sir” said Misato, scratching her cheek, a nervous tic that she could never grow out of. 

“You never answered my question. Are you lost, Misato Katsuragi?” asked Dr. Nagisa with a strange undertone, like he meant something different when posing that question. 

“Umm, yes sir. We had a meeting with the Commander, so we could get acquainted with our new workplace” answered Misato, feeling a little disturbed by the doctor.

“I see...I’ll lead the way. Although, the Commander is unfortunately out on a last-minute business trip. So you’ll be meeting with Captain Soryu, she can be a handful. But you already know that, yes?”

Misato nodded her head and smiled in agreement, deep down, she had no idea what he meant by that statement. She had heard of the hot-headed, infamous Captain Soryu but never met her in person. Kaji and Misato followed the creepy doctor to a small office room with one table in the middle, there was a blonde-haired woman sitting shyly at said table, and a podium with a white screen behind it. 

“I will retrieve your guides, in the meantime get acquainted with each other.” explained Dr. Nagisa and with that closing the door, leaving the couple to stare awkwardly at the previously lone woman in the room.

The woman with medium length blonde hair that just barely touched her shoulders was also wearing the summer dress uniform. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat as she glanced at the couple and back to the table in front of her.

“Hey! My name’s Misato Katsuragi!” smiled Misato and gave a quick bow of greeting. Kaji did the same as well, although he wasn’t really concerned about getting to know this woman.

She sat up from her seat, returned the bow, and said “My name is Ritsuko Akagi, I’m a 2LT. What’s your rank?” 

“We’re both 1LT’s, but don’t feel the need to be formal. Things like that don’t really matter to us” said Kaji, he always hated talking about rankings.

Ritsuko nodded in acknowledgement.

The couple took the empty seats in front of them and sat in awkward silence.

“Misato, did you know that creepy guy back there?” asked Kaji 

“Oh, yes. He’s the contact I told you about, we worked together when I was stationed in Germany for a little while. It was pure luck that I was even able to talk to him about a job but he said that they needed new people” explained Misato.

“You got the Deputy Commander as your contact?!” exclaimed Ritsuko, who couldn’t help but listen in to the conversation.

“Holy shit, Misato! You weren’t kidding when you said that you pulled some strings! Didn’t know you knew him and Captain Soryu! You need to talk about your time in Germany more!” laughed Kaji. Misato had always been modest when it came to her work and the contacts she gained from them.

“I don’t know the Captain personally, I’ve just heard of her” muttered Misato.

“But that doctor..err...Deputy Commander said that you did” wondered Kaji.

“I think he got me confused with someone else when he said that.… Nevermind what he said, how did you get in Ritsuko?” asked Misato.

“Oh, I have a friend who works here and she gave me a good recommendation to Commander Ikari. Plus it helps that my mother used to work for them. Just good luck, really.”

“Good luck has its perks” smiled Misato.

“WHERE IS THAT IDIOT?!” yelled a voice from behind the door.

The three people in the room quickly turned their heads to where the voice came from, “What the hell is going on?” asked Kaji.

“Where is he?! Does that dolt _always_ have to be late?! God, I wish someone _told_ me that I had a meeting for once!” continued the high-pitched voice.

Another voice could be heard but it was too quiet to be heard through the door.

“Well, he didn’t tell me about it! Idiot Shin-”

The quiet voice interrupted the ranting for a slight moment.

“... _Commander_ Idiot didn’t tell me that he had a meeting. He was the one that insisted on speaking to them!”

“She seems angry, I hope that isn’t the Captain we’re supposed to be meeting” muttered Kaji.

“I have a feeling that it’s the Captain” said Misato.

“Captain Soryu does have a reputation for being hot-headed” agreed Ritsuko.

.

.

“No, Kaworu _did not_ tell me about the change. I honestly don’t know why he expects us to trust him. Jeez, Where is that idiot?! I swear...Ah! There you are! About time!”

A slightly louder male voice joined the fray, he was apologizing but it didn’t sound very convincing. 

“I’ll see you in sec, just get ready for her. Come on! We’re already late enough!”

The door burst wide open to show a uniformed girl and boy. The both of them wore black Oxford shoes, black pants with a yellow stripe down the middle and a white shirt with black shoulder tabs that held the Captain rank. 

The girl had red hair with unauthorized bright blood-red hair clips, her eyes were a bright blue like the sky, except for the black eyepatch that covered her right eye. Her skin was a pale white but at the same time more tanned than the almost translucent skin of Dr. Nagisa, her hands rested on her hips with a confident stance. Her right arm carried a large scar that ran from her palm to underneath her uniform sleeve. Her uniform was colorful with the number of ribbons she had on it and the nametag that read ‘Capt. Asuka L. Soryu, Aviation Division'.

The boy had spiky, unkempt jet black hair with light stubble around his chin, his skin was much tanner like he worked in the sun constantly. There was a silver wedding ring on his right hand. His shoulders were slumped as he yawned and looked at the people in the room with only minor interest. His nametag read as ‘Capt. Toji Suzuhara, Mechanical Division’.

“Good evening! My name is Captain Asuka Langley Soryu and this slacker over here is Captain Toji Suzuhara! We will be directing you to your new station here at NERV. I apologize that Commander Ikari couldn’t show up, military politics and all” explained Asuka as the new people saluted the Captain's.

“Just for the da record, I’m not some slacker ya know! I’m half da reason things even work around here!” exclaimed Captain Suzuhara.

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say, anyway, why don’t we start off by having you introduce yourselves!” smiled Asuka, ignoring Toji's annoyed expression. 

The three people introduced themselves accordingly, Misato couldn’t help but notice that Captain Soryu was giving them a strange look, not one of annoyance or confusion but one of longing...like she was sad to see them or maybe happy? Misato couldn't really tell since she switched her facial expressions so much.

“Nice to meet you! You all know the history behind NERV, correct? I don’t need to go over it?” asked Asuka.

They all nodded their heads in agreement.

“Perfect!, Well no need to stand here all night!. Mr-I mean, 1LT Kaji, you’ll go with Toji to show you the Mechanical Division. While the lovely ladies will come with me to your Divisions” explained Asuka.

“I’ll see you at home, kay?” smiled Kaji as the two groups split apart.

“Just don’t be late” teased Misato waving him goodbye.

.

.

Kaji couldn’t help but notice how Captain Suzuhara slightly limped from his left leg while he was walking, it made him wonder how he was even allowed to stay in the military with such a visible injury.

“Ya noticed, hard not to, right?” asked Toji, who kept walking forward and not looking in Kaji’s direction.

“Sorry, sir. I didn’t mean to bring it up” 

“Ya didn’t...lost it back in the war. Got caught in an N2 mine”

“How did you survive?”

“The Commander, then he was just a Private, saved my life. He cried like a baby after he saw the aftermath of my leg. I don’t blame him, it wasn’t pretty”

“How are you-?”

“Still in the military? I wasn’t for a long time, but after Commander Ikari set up NERV, he asked me to come help him. He had apparently cleared it with the higher-ups, so now I’m here” 

“So you must be pretty high up, being friends with the Commander. Know any weird rumors?” asked Kaji with a relaxed smile.

“No, NERV’s clean. If that’s what you mean” said Toji.

“I didn’t mean anything by it, sir. Nothing at all”

“Rule of advice, I don’t do anything stupid while workin’ here. Could get ya in a lot of trouble”

Kaji only nodded, he didn’t like the way that Toji had said that ‘advice’ as Toji had called it. He knew that it was a threat, he took a risk by asking him that question but him even walking these hallways was a risk. It didn’t matter, NERV would be taken down soon so he wouldn’t have to worry about the risks.

.

.

“Hey, Ritsuko!” waved Major Maya Ibuki, Head of NERV’s Technical Division.

The group of girls had finally reached the first destination on their list, Misato and Asuka stayed behind Ritsuko as he went up to the Major and gave her a hug in greeting. 

“It’s so nice to see you again!” said Ritsuko, completely dropping her slightly shy attitude.

“It’s been too long! How have you been?”

The two girls started to talk to each other like no one else in the world even existed around them. 

“Scientists are such strange creatures, right Major?” asked Asuka, who signed audibly.

“Ma’am, I’m not a Major” corrected Misato quietly. 

“Oh! Sorry! I get confused sometimes, I see so many different people!” exclaimed Asuka, laughing off her mistake. “Well, we gotta run. See ya later!”

Misato waved her goodbyes as well, as she and the Captain left in the direction of where Misato assumed that she was going to be stationed. In the walk, the two fell into an awkward silence as Misato still found it strange that she had been misranked, especially for such a high ranking position and earlier she almost didn’t even call Kaji by his own rank. It was strange, I mean she did understand the reasoning behind it, seeing so many different ranks and people every day was bound to be a little hard to keep track of but the strange looks that Captain kept giving her led her to believe that something was amiss. She just didn’t know what or maybe she was just being paranoid.

“Here, we are!” announced Asuka who stopped at a plain white door that was nestled between the corner of two hallways. The plate on the door read ‘Tactical Operations-Linguistics Wing, Capt. Rei Ikari’.

“Is this where I’ll be working?” asked Misato, a little off-put of the plainness and slightly isolating area.

“Yup! I know it looks unassuming but you’ll be doing incredibly important work here! Plus, between you and me, Rei needs someone to talk to!” laughed Asuka as she opened the door to show a medium-sized room with two desks sitting on opposite sides of the room with paper and laptops laying across the floor, some were labeled while others weren’t. On the left table, there was a blue-haired girl sitting at it with books in different languages piled up high, so high in fact one wrong move could send them tumbling down. 

“Talking to you fills that quota tenfold, Captain Soryu” said the girl, not looking away from her book.

“And you enjoy every second of it!” declared Asuka with a triumphant stance.

The girl named Rei said nothing in response, her blue colored short hair, pale skin and red eyes made her look almost exactly like Dr. Nagsia. It kinda creeped Misato out just a bit, plus her wearing a white uniform didn’t help either.

“Are you and Dr. Nagsia related?” asked Misato sheepishly.

Rei dropped her book on the table, which made the stack of books wobble slightly, and stared straight at Misato while Asuka burst out laughing. 

“No....we are not. I am only related to Commander Ikari, it would seem strange to also be related to his husband, don’t you think?” asked Rei completely deadpanned but with a slight smile on her face.

“Yes, ma’am” said Misato nervously, scratching her cheek once more.

“There is no need to be formal with me, Major” 

Asuka stopped laughing, cleared her throat, and whispered something in Rei’s ear.

“Excuse me, I meant to say 1LT. It has...been a long day. I apologize” 

Misato just laughed it off, but now she knew something was up, there was no way that two officers who clearly outranked her would mistake what rank she was, there was just no way. Asuka quickly said her goodbyes after that, and left Misato alone with Rei who looked at her with interest. 

“I’m surprised that you asked if I was related to the Doctor when the nameplate outside clearly says Ikari on it” wondered Rei.

“It just slipped out, I’m sorry ma’am. You two just looked similar that’s all” apologized Misato, she really didn’t want to get in trouble on her first day.

“I suppose we do, don’t feel bad about it. I found it quite humorous” smiled Rei but only slightly.

Misato smiled back nervously and asked, ever so, lightly “Is the Commander your brother?”

“Yes, he is. However, not by blood” answered Rei bluntly.

“I see” Silence quickly fell upon them.

“Your desk is over there, I just want you to get comfortable with your new space today. Work will start tomorrow” said Rei who went back to her book.

“I understand” 

Misato sat at her desk and thought about her new life in NERV, it was off to a strange start but she was sure that things would turn around. Although, she did question to herself on why she thought Captain Rei was related to Dr. Nagsia when the nametag clearly said ‘Ikari’, she tried not to think about it too much.

.

Asuka closed the door behind her and took a couple of shaky breaths, Gott. This was going to be a lot harder than expected, she had slipped up twice! She knew that the two people had noticed, they weren’t stupid, plus they always could read people like a book, sometimes anyway, and she was sure that ability had carried over. Asuka almost wanted to go back in there and spill everything, just rip the bandage off and get the pain over with but she had to follow what the Commander said. That stupid idiot. Didn’t he realize that everyone was going to get burned by doing this?

.

.

That night Misato dreamed of a different world, one of Angels and unexplained impacts. There was a young boy, dressed in a school uniform with short brown hair and dead blue eyes, he kept saying that he shouldn't run away, yet he did. He had every right to do so, if she was in his position she would have as well, so why was she so disappointed with him? Who was he? Why did she know him? Yet, she couldn’t recall his name. Gunshots rang out, an elevator door closed, words were spoken...then nothing. 

Misato woke up with a jolt, Kaji and Pen-Pen were still asleep in their dreams. She got up and drank a beer, hoping that it would make the dreams go away.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Ring! Ring! Ring!_

_._

_Welcome to NERV!_

_Founded in 2015, by Commander Shinji Ikari and his close associate Dr. Kaworu Nagisa based on the ideas of bringing the world back to it’s peaceful utopia before the Great War occurred. NERV’s foremost mission is to bring relief to those in need and research new technologies and sciences to further advance the world. As the main branch of the UN, NERV is able to employ anyone from around the world! Military and civilian! Join today to further the advancement of the World!_

_._

“God is in his heaven”

“All’s right with the world”

“Good, have you gotten in?”

“Yes, sir. In the Mechanical Division”

“What about the girl?”

“She’s in Tactical Operations, working with Linguistics”

“Then she’s with Ayanami, that’s very good. We can use that”

“But she’s still not convinced about NERV’s true nature”

“Have you told her about your brother?”

“No”

“The dreams? Have either of you had them again?”

“Sort of, on both questions. I think she had some again last night and they’ve started for me again as well. But she just thinks it’s because of stress, I don’t know”

“I see, what do you think?”

“I still think it’s what you told me about, Professor”

“That’s a good sign, I can’t have you question this when you’re this close. I have a contact who will meet you soon. Everything will be solved soon, my child”

“I believe you, I know this is the right thing to do. I’ll convince her somehow, then she can help us”

“She will be a great asset until the time comes. May God bring you mercy”

“Same to you”

.

_End._

.

Kaji looked at the messages on his phone, groaned quietly, he had forgotten about his and Misato’s dinner tonight. For the third time that week....she was gonna be pissed. He’ll make it up to her, hopefully. Kaji looked outside of the abandoned phone booth, miles away from the main base.

The leaves were falling silent from the trees, fall was starting, just like that day. The day the dreams of a red-haired girl started and the day his brother was murdered.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Misato had always had strange dreams when she went to sleep, most of it was just plain nonsense. Things she could never remember once she woke up or after a cold beer, but now the dreams were only becoming clearer the past several days. A few things remained consistent, like the boy in the school uniform, something about an ‘EVA’, a different Commander Ikari but she never could make out his face, words like ‘SEELE’ ‘Second’ ‘Promise me?’, and an elevator with spots of blood.

She had always chalked them up as ‘stress dreams’ but there had been a part of her that thought they meant something greater, something that she was supposed to remember but what it was was the mystery. The fact they had been getting stronger ever since she and Kaji had arrived at NERV had only made her feel even more unnerved by them. Even Kaji had gotten them at times, it was one of the reasons they bonded so quickly, but he considered them to be of greater meaning from the start especially after his brother’s mysterious death, who had also worked at NERV, which didn’t help to calm Kaji but only fuel his wild suspicions.

Misato grumbled as she looked at her phone, while walking back to her office, Kaji had stood her up four times this week, if this date turned to be the fifth one. Then things were going to get heated real quick in their relationship, and not in a good way. She turned down the hall until she heard whispers coming from the Linguistics office, the door was slightly open so Misato took the opportunity to listen in on who was talking in there.

“So, is 6:00 a good time?” asked a voice that sounded like Captain Soryu.

“Yes, I can make miso soup” answered another voice, definitely Captain Rei.

“You always make miso soup!” grumbled Asuka, her whisper was the loudest whisper that Misato had heard in her life. How could someone whisper so damn loud, yet still be considered low enough to even be a whisper? 

“It’s the only thing I know how to make properly”

“I thought Shinji taught you how to cook!”

“Doesn’t mean I’m good at it” said Rei dryly.

“Well, you’re just lucky that I like miso soup a lot. So I don’t mind, this time anyway”

“I’m sure you’ll say that again, just like last time you came over”

“Whatever”

.

“How’s the Major been?” asked Asuka.

“You mean the 1LT?” corrected Rei.

“Right...I meant to say that”

“Of course, she’s been good. A hard worker, she still likes to joke around some”

“Good, is she still a mess?”

“A little bit, I’m probably worse than her” laughed Rei.

Asuka laughed a little bit, “I can still see that mess of an apartment”

“Do you miss it?”

“In a way, I think I miss her more than anything”

“And him?”

“No...maybe. I don’t really know, he’s happy. The happiest I’ve ever seen him, if I start to miss him, things would be strange.”

“How?” asked Rei.

“They’re together now like they should’ve been. If I or Shinji start to miss them, things would just get complicated, you know?” explained Asuka.

“I understand, I wish we could miss them”

“Yeah, but the ones we knew are dead. I think that’s for the best, it’s better for them to smile than to cry” A soft sniffle could be heard after Asuka spoke.

A chair moved. Light footsteps hit the floor then stopped where Asuka’s sniffles could be heard.

“Thanks...Don’t tell the idiot I said this, we can’t have things going to his head, but he was right not to tell them when they first got here.”

“I won’t”

“Well! I gotta get going! Those planes might combust if I leave them alone with those stupid idiots out there!

Misato jolted out of her eavesdropping just in time for Asuka to open the door and looked straight at her. She smiled, said good afternoon, and walked briskly down the hallway. Misato let out a sigh of relief, pulled herself together and walked into the mess of an office. 

“I gave those reports to the Major General like you asked” said Misato, praying that Rei didn’t realize that she had been there for a while.

“Thank you”

Misato nodded and sat down at her desk, desperately trying to find something to do.

“Can I ask you a question?” asked Rei suddenly.

“Yes, ma’am. Anything you want” answered Misato, dread invading her system like a wildfire.

“Are you happy?” questioned Rei, looking at her with true sincerity in her blood-red eyes.

Misato hesitated for a moment and then said “Yes, not always but strive to be happy”

Rei just smiled and went back to her desk getting back to work. Misato wanted to say something, she didn’t really know what but ended up staying silent as she looked absently at her paperwork.

Maybe Kaji was on to something...

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Misato tapped her fingers on the dining room table, the bottle of wine was empty and the food’s steam had long gone out along with the candles, Pen-Pen watched the melted wax slowly drip down the cream-colored candles to land on the wooden table. She looked at the clock, not even out impatience anymore but definitely out of spite, she didn’t even turn her head when she heard the front door unlock or when Kaji came shuffling in with a case of beer. Obviously, bought it out in hopes to be forgiven, she may drink the beer but no way in fuck was Kaji getting out of this one.

“The fifth time this week, Kaji. The fifth time! For fucks sake!” yelled Misato, unable to hold in her anger. Alcohol tended to make Misato lose her filter, in a lot of ways.

“I know. I-” started Kaji.

“No! If you knew, then why do you keep fucking doing it!”

Kaji said nothing, just looked at her sympathetically.

“The last time you did something like this was when your brother died and you went on some wild goose chase to avenge him! That didn’t go anywhere!”

Kaji shot her a look of anger and sadness mixed together.

Misato’s eyes widened, “Oh god....that’s what you’ve been doing, I thought you said that you were over that! Is that why you came with me? To get into NERV? To find something that doesn’t exist?!”

Misato was definitely drunk, she had always kept those thoughts to herself.

“Something’s up, I know it this time!” pleaded Kaji.

“No! Not this time, I’m done with this shit! I just need to get out here!” exclaimed Misato as she drunkenly walked past Kaji to the front door.

“Wait, you can’t-”

“Watch me” growled Misato as she opened the door and then slammed it shut. 

Then, she just ran. 

.

Ran until she threw up.

.

Ran until the alcohol burned up, if only a little bit.

.

Ran until her legs cried out in pain.

.

Ran until...until...wait...where was she?

She looked around her surroundings, there was a road that led up a small hill that looked to be a part of the snowy mountain in front of her. The road went up a straight line with only guardrails until it looked to divert into a small overlook, it was a few meters away. Misato decided to walk towards it, she didn’t want to go home yet. The streetlights seemed to help lead her there, like they wanted her to go there. 

Huh, had it been nighttime when she started running?

Halfway there, she started to hear a cello play in the direction she was walking in. She wasn’t that drunk was she?

Once she got to the overlook, there was a blue Alpine A310 sitting there with its front end facing the road and the open truck beside a man. The man was sitting down on a white foldable chair, legs apart to account for the cello that he was currently playing, Misato couldn’t really get a good look at him but he looked to be wearing a black hooded jacket, a grey shirt was poking out from underneath it and khaki pants as well short black hair and wore fingerless gloves that almost reached up to his fingernails.

He seemed to be lost in the music, as he took slow, then aggressive but meaningful strokes with the cello’s bow. Misato decided to take a seat on the dirt ground, a few feet away and facing the man’s back, and listened to him play. She didn’t realize that her eyelids had started to feel heavy as the unknown song soothed her into drowsiness, her head began to nod off until she could barely keep it up from above her shoulders.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bore you!” apologized the man, he had a soft, almost feminine, voice.

“Need..coffee” grumbled Misato, still somewhat drunk.

The man laughed, it was a nice-sounding laugh. It was a sound that, Misato had fought tooth and nail to hear. Misato groaned, confused, why did she think that? This was just some random stranger, why did she want him to laugh? What did it matter to her? Why won’t her eyes let her see him?

“Are you okay?” asked the man, lightly touching her shoulder.

“Want..coffee..” repeated Misato.

She felt her arm being wrapped around the man’s neck and slightly dragged her feet in the direction of the blue car. A door opened and closed, Misato looked around, she was inside the car. Where was he taking her? The trunk closed which shook the car and then the man appeared in the front seat.

“Let’s get some food first, okay?” said the man as he started the car.

Misato nodded, food sounded really good right now plus she better get that damn cup of coffee. She had stopped paying attention to where they were going, she knew that they were off-base and driving down a long, winding road that only made her even sicker to her stomach. At point the car had stopped in front of an American-esqe diner, the glowing red sign that blared out ‘24 Hours’ hurt Misato’s eyes. The man got out of the car, went around to the passenger side to help Misato get out as well.

The entrance’s bell rang out and someone greeted them, such a pathetic sight to some random guy having a drunk woman hanging from him.

“A table for two, please” said the man.

“Bathroom..walk myself” mumbled Misato.

“Are you sure?” asked the man earnestly.

Misato gave him a glare, or something akin to a glare. The man took that as his confirmation as he let go of her and let her walk to the bathroom which the employee graciously pointed the direction it was in. She stayed in the bathroom, throwing up, until finally most of the alcohol was out of her system. God, how much wine did she drink?. The ceiling finally stopped spinning and the lights stopped being blurry blobs that burned her eyes, she went to the sink and splashed cool water in her face, in an effort to wake up. She looked at her face in the mirror, she looked tired and worn out, and she pulled out her phone or tried to at least until she realized that she had left it back at the apartment. Great, she was stuck with some strange man in a strange place with no way to contact anyone. Wonderful.

She opened the bathroom door and observed her surroundings for the first time, it was a small building. The bathrooms looked to be all the way in the back, while the main floor had a sort of main bar and various wooden booths on the sides, the farthest booth and the one that faced a window held the man that had picked her up. She started to walk towards him, he wasn’t facing her as his gloved hand rested on his chin as he looked at the night sky towards the stars.

Misato arrived at the booth and sat in the seat across him as he turned to look at her. He had short black hair, blue eyes(was he a foreigner?), a warm smile, a small scar across his left eyebrow, his grey shirt had the NERV logo colored in white and a white cross necklace hung from his neck.

“How are you feeling?” asked the man.

“Better, thank you. Umm, may I ask who you are and where you’ve taken me?” questioned Misato.

“Well, my name's...Gendo, and you said that you wanted coffee and food so I decided to take you here, it’s an American inspired restaurant and the only thing open this late” explained the man.

“How late is it?”

“It’s about 1 in the morning”

“Seriously?! Shit, Kaji’s going to be worried sick” groaned Misato.

“Would you like to leave? I can get boxes” wondered Gendo.

“No, let him worry. That’s all he’s been doing to me!” grumbled Misato.

The waiter arrived to give them their coffee and said “Food will be out in a bit, sir”

“Thanks!, Are you sure? I don’t want to cause any trouble”

“I’m very sure! That jackass needs to learn a lesson!”

Gendo awkwardly chuckled and took a sip of his coffee, without any sugar or cream. While Misato kept pouring in sugar packets, one after another as a way let out her frustration, but a peaceful quietness overcame them as she stirred in the sugary powder to make it dissolve into nothingness.

“It didn’t bore me..” whispered Misato.

“Hm?” Gendo gave her a puzzled look.

“The song wasn't boring, it was actually pretty soothing. What was it?”

“Beethoven’s Fur Elise. I’m glad you took it that way” 

Gendo smiled, he kinda spoke like the creepy doctor, he was definitely giving off some mysterious vibes but it didn’t feel unnatural. Misato hoped that he wasn’t a higher ranking officer, that would be embarrassing.

“You’re free to come listen anytime you want, it’s nice to have an audience once in a while. My husband is usually too busy to join me.” offered Gendo. Misato didn’t even notice the small silver ring on his right ring finger.

“Sure! How long have you been playing?” 

“It's been a long time, since I was a young child. I actually went to University to study music, I wanted to teach it”

“What happened? If may ask”

“...the war” muttered Gendo, taking another sip of his coffee. 

“Oh...I’m sorry, you would’ve made a good teacher”

Gendo gave her a look, although she couldn’t decipher what it was other than he seemed happy to hear those words.

“Thank you, Miss Misato”

The waiter had now arrived with their food, it was two plates with two pancakes covered in syrup and blueberries, and then left them alone again once more. It was Misato’s turn to give the man a strange look, she hadn’t told him her name during this entire conversation, he was only getting stranger.

“Is something wrong? I didn’t know what you would like so I just got what I normally get” asked Gendo with a worried expression.

“No, this is fine. But how did you know my name?”

“Oh! I’m sorry, I print out all the ID cards for NERV. I just recognized your appearance and your name. I didn’t mean to freak you out!” 

“So, you do work for NERV. What do you do?”

“Just paperwork really, I keep records of who comes in and out, as well as employees and visitors. Background checks, the normal things. I do a little bit of everything.” laughed Gendo.

“Interesting, sorry I didn’t mean to come off as suspicious. I just wasn’t expecting you to know my name”

“It’s alright, also don’t worry about paying for this. I come here all the time so it’s on the house” He scratched his cheek nervously.

“Thank you again, Gendo”

“It’s no problem”

The two began to eat their late-night meal, but Misato couldn’t help to stare at Gendo’s necklace. It was just so familiar like she had seen it before, she just couldn’t place it. Gendo also seemed strangely familiar, he looked a lot like the boy in her dreams just older and more tired-looking be it from age or other factors. She felt comfortable around him, like they had known each other for a long time, they talked about various aspects about their lives, the work that they did, the people they loved, how Misato’s cat liked to take warm showers and the sports cars they drove. 

.

“Is this your apartment?” asked Gendo, holding his cello case in his hand with little effort. 

“Yes, I want to thank you again for helping me” bowed Misato.

“Don’t worry about it! I look forward to seeing you again, Misato Katsuragi” smiled Gendo sincerely.

“Yeah…” Misato couldn't help but blush at his sincerity, she still couldn’t shake that sense of familiarity when she was around him. Maybe they had known each other in a past life?

“Good night” waved Misato.

“Good night” 

Gendo waved his goodbyes as he turned his back to her but then stopped in his tracks, as Misato put her key into the lock.

“Misato?” he started turning his head to look at her. Why did he look so sad and worn?

“Yes?”

“.....I’m glad I have a chance to meet you, and...he cares about you, don’t forget that” Gendo turned back around and walked away. Leaving Misato in silence.

Kaji was asleep at the dining room table, a pile of lit and unlit cigarettes next to him, Misato signed and picked him by the arm to lay him to rest in their bedroom. Misato curled up next to him and thought about many things, she would get him to talk one way or another, he owed her that. Because Gendo was right, Kaji had always cared about her wellbeing, he could just be a ditz at times, she could be forgiving this time.

_The boy cried out as he did when he was stressed, which he had every right to be, but things were developing too fast. He needed to concentrate, he needed to be an adult. He was too young for this mess of a world, she should've been better._

_“You don’t understand!”_

_Of course she didn’t, she had never understood even when she had been inches away from him. Even when in his position, she would be acting the same way._

_“Stop lying to yourself and realize that you do have options!”_

_The options that she wanted him to so desperately have._

_“But you're not me!”_

_She yelled and begged like she always did to get her point across to the boy, she cupped his soft face in her bloodied hands._

_“Don’t be scared…”_

_“...but I am”_

_“Good, it’s okay to be scared. Take these next steps of your own free will”_

_._

_._

_“Look for those answers, Shinji. Find out who Shinji Ikari wants to be, what decisions he wants to make”_

_._

_“Promise me, you’ll come back to me”_

_“Yes”_

_BOOM!_

_The giving of a cross crusted with blood. Her blood._

_The touching of lips, ever so lightly._

_“Take care of yourself”_

_._

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shinji Ikari hated lying, he had never been very good at it unlike his father but the rare moments that he was able to pull it off, it made him feel sick to the core. But he couldn’t risk triggering those awful memories of lives that had since passed, he wouldn’t dare hurt her again. Although, his father was probably laughing at Shinji for using his name in such a Gendo way, lying to the people he should be trusted to get his way.

Shinji opened the front door to his apartment, set his cello down in it’s designated spot and peeked into the bedroom. Kaworu was snoring softly, work papers littered the bedsheets and the computer’s dead battery light was flashing slowly lighting up his husband’s sleeping face. Shinji smiled at him, grabbed his SDAT and pack of cigarettes, a habit that he had picked up from the war, and walked out to the balcony feeling the cool night’s breeze.

He pressed play on his ancient music player, at this point it was even older than him, lit a cigarette and breathed in the deadly smoke. He hated his habit but once you start it, you can never look back, at least that’s what Kaji had told him ages ago or maybe he didn’t want to stop. It was one of the few things in his life that made him feel grounded to reality. 

Shinji felt arms wrap around his waist and pulled him into a tight, warm embrace, “The bed's getting cold, maybe you should come warm it up for me?”

“Only if you move all your stuff from my side of the bed. You’re such a slob” smiled Shinji as he took out the headphones in his ears.

“But I have you to help clean it up!” laughed Kaworu.

“You’d fall apart if you didn’t have me..” muttered Shinji, putting out his cigarette.

Kaworu chuckled softly and leaned into Shinji’s neck, Shinji relished in his warm breath and how combated the cool air around them.

“I lied to her..” whispered Shinji.

“How so?” asked Kaworu.

“You’ll laugh, I said my name was Gendo....I was too afraid to tell her my name.”

Kaworu didn’t laugh, “What are you afraid of? That she’ll find out?”

“No...I’m afraid that she’ll hate me…” 

“For not telling her your name? Or the truth?”asked Kaworu confused.

“For not coming back…”

“I see, but you did come back, Shinji.”

“I’m not the person she knew…”

“Are any of us?”

“No”

“Then she won’t hate you”

Shinji didn’t say anything.

“Let’s go to bed, it’s late enough” said Shinji as he turned away from the balcony.

Kaworu smiled and followed Shinji into the bed, after moving the piles of paperwork, and snuggled up to him wrapping their limbs in a peaceful embrace.

“You kept your promise, Shinji. You found your answers, they be a work in progress, but that is the way of the Lilin. You may be different, but this is a different world, or have you forgotten what you said to the Children all those years ago? You have unresolved feelings, but it’s up to you to resolve it for your sake and her’s”

“I didn’t forget...they’ll find the truth, when that day happens. I will be there for them, it’s the least I can do”

“And that is all that matters, Shinji”

“What would I do without you, Kaworu?”

Kaworu chuckled and kissed him until they were lulled into a shared slumber.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Misato ran down the hallway while making sure not to let the paperwork in her hands fly away, she was late to work, this wasn't good at all! Rei said that they had important work today and not to be late, of course, Kaji didn’t wake her up. That jerk, her frustrations kept boiling up, even Gendo, some random guy, had treated her better! No, she shouldn’t be thinking like that, they would have a long talk after work, she was sure of that!

Misato stopped just shy of the office door, made herself look presentable and caught her breath, as she went to open the door she could faintly hear Gendo’s voice. What was he doing here?

She opened the door to see Gendo dressed in the standard short-sleeved white military uniform with various ribbons covering said uniform, much like Captain Soryu, but what made Misato stop in her tracks was Gendo’s rank it was clearly the marking of an LTG, the second-highest rank in the Japanese military, and his hands, uncovered by his gloves, was covered in red burn marks. She made the dreadful realization that she had been acting like a drunken fool in front of a higher ranking officer, he had probably been reporting her just now…

“1LT Katsuragi?” asked Rei.

Misato blinked her thoughts away and asked “Yes, ma’am?”

“This is Commander Shinji Ikari. He was just stopping by to see how you were feeling and explained why you were running late today” said Rei giving her a concerned look.

Gend-Commander Ikari was giving her a worried expression, then smiled and said “It’s okay, you’re not in trouble. Things happen, please don’t feel like your in trouble”

Misato dropped her papers, scattering them around the office floor only adding to the papers that were already piled up. She backed away from the Commander and Captain Rei, both of whom continued with their worried looks and mouthed out words that she couldn’t hear, and ran back down the hallway. She felt tears roll down her cheeks, he had lied to her again...again? 

Yes, again.

She needed to find Kaji, something was wrong, very wrong. 

Commander Ikari. Shinji Ikari. He was the boy in her dreams. 

_Miss Misato?_

_This is your home, Shinji. I’m going to take care of you._

_No!_

_Pilot the Eva!_

_I can’t!_

_You won’t get any praise from me!_

_You don’t understand…_

_Then leave! Run away!_

_How can you be so cruel, Misato?_

She wasn’t cruel! She hadn’t said those words! But she had, hadn’t she? She had been a horrible guardian...No! Ikari had lied to her! Why was she so upset about that? She didn’t know him. But she did, he had always lied about his feelings, about who he was, he was a liar.

.

“Misato!” called out Rei as she tried to run after the distraught woman before a hand rested on her shoulder, stopping her from moving any further. 

“Let her go..” whispered Shinji.

“But..!”

“She needs to find her answers in her time, not ours”

.

.

Kaji looked over to see Misato standing outside of the dim hallway that he was currently in and the one where he was finally meeting Fuyutsuki’s informant, she was out of breath and had tears rolling down her beet-red face. Kaji handed the informant back the papers and ran to his girlfriend, who embraced him and promptly fell to the floor, he wrapped his hands around Misato's face.

“What’s wrong?” asked Kaji.

“The dreams, Kaji...I think they’re real…”

“What?! How?”

“I don’t know...Ikari...in my dreams…”

“Kaji, we don’t have time for some hysterical woman! We need to make a plan, now!” grumbled the informant.

Kaji gave him a glare while Misato gave the strange man a confused glance, Kaji looked back at his girlfriend and whispered “Go back home, okay? Clear your head, I’ll be there soon. I’ll explain everything”.

“Don’t leave me…” whispered Misato as she was dragged to her feet.

“I won’t, I promise” breathed Kaji, he kissed her and rubbed her cheek in blissful comfort.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Tell me everything”

“Years ago, Adam, a being called an Angel, arrived on Earth and Lilith came shortly afterward causing the First Impact. SEELE, the organization that supposedly started the war 15 years ago, discovered a text called the Dead Sea Scrolls which was supposed to have held the explanation for the strange relics in Tokyo and even detailed events that occur in the future, events that would have benefited mankind. However, the JSDF didn’t want this information to get public and sent in an attack team to get rid of the scrolls, this is what caused the war, and do you know who was a part of that squad?”

“Who?”

“Shinji Ikari, he was the one who set up SEELE. He claimed that SEELE wanted to destroy the world when in reality he wanted to help the JSDF seize control of Japan, which ended up happening after the war. He created NERV to cover up what SEELE was doing and twist their discoveries into the government’s personal weapon”

“What discoveries?”

“That the First Impact wasn't the only one, there would have been two other impacts, events that would’ve helped mankind by getting rid of mankind’s weakness, by making us better humans! They called it the Human Instrumentality Project”

“The one in our dreams?”

“Yes”

“So we’ve seen it before? Is that what our dreams mean?”

“I don’t know, but you said that Ikari was there?”

“He looked young...but he was there”

“Fuyutsuki never said anything about dreams being a part of the project, nor did I really tell him about them. If you help me, maybe we can get out answers”

“Help with what?”

“There are rumors that the Scrolls weren’t destroyed but being held at the deepest level of NERV HQ, in a place called Terminal Dogma. There’s a plan to get access to that place and expose NERV as well as Ikari for their crimes”

“When?”

“Tomorrow, I’ve been making these plans, that's why I’ve been so distant. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to make you worried”

“I understand, I want to help you. Nothing has been made since we’ve arrived here. I want to find the truth behind my dreams”

“Are you sure? You’re willing to betray NERV just like that?”

“If it’s for the benefit of humanity, of course. Plus, I won’t let you do this alone”

“Thank you, we’ll find the truth. The truth of everything”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She watched the fan make its rounds, cooling the air but she still felt hot, it was unbearable like an infection that was invading her senses. Just a couple of weeks ago, she had been chastising Kaji for believing in wild conspiracy theories yet here she was going along with those theories taking them in as fact even when her instincts told her to think about what she was planning to do. 

Her mind, however, was begging her to find the truth behind her dreams, the dreams that had kept her up at night and caused her to feel strange emotions towards the unknown people in them or why they looked so familiar yet so far away. Why had she been so distraught after seeing Ikari? Why had he lied to her? Was she connected to this Human Instrumentality Project? Is that why? Who is she?

What is this world? Is it even her own?

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Asuka yawned and stretched out her arms as she walked down the grey hallway, the windows beside her showed the black night sky with white snow particles floating down from the blackened clouds. She remembered how much she used to hate the snow, it was so inconvenient and it always made everything way too goddamn cold! But, she soon started to love seeing the snow, it reminded her that times were better and things could be so much worse. 

She walked past an opening in the hallway and felt a cold, steel barrel of a gun placed by the side of her head. She stopped in her tracks, her face made no movements nor did her body, this wasn’t the first she had been held at gunpoint. 

“Don’t do anything stupid” said a voice, she had known from a long time ago.

“I don’t think, I’m stupid one here. Pointing a gun at a founding NERV official, how could you be so foolish?” asked Asuka not looking in the voice’s direction.

“Stupid bitch, you always had to big of a mouth” growled the voice as her cheek with the gun, causing her to temporarily lose her balance.

“Hey! I thought I said not to hurt anyone!” called out Kaji. Asuka grimaced and then looked Kaji dead in the eyes, his stern look didn’t hide his conflicted feelings. 

“Are you okay?” asked Kaji “We don’t want to hurt you” He shot his partner a glare.

“Du Dummkopf. What the hell are you doing?” asked Asuka, more disappointed than angry. 

Kaji looked away for a moment and said, “I’m avenging my brother’s death, Captain Soryu. I’m taking down NERV and Shinji Ikari, the man who killed him, you’re going to help us do it”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Misato didn’t know what she was doing, why was going along with this? For herself? For Kaji and his revenge? The revenge that deep down she knows is wrong? Why is she doing this? She knew why she wanted to remember the events of her dream to find out their importance and why Commander Ikari kept appearing in her dreams as a young boy yet also a figure that she loathed completely.

Her hands were visibly shaking as she held the gun, pointed at her superior officer, Rei showed zero emotion at what Misato was doing. It's like she didn’t even care that a weapon was pointed at her, much less that it was Misato. 

“Is this how you want to find your answers?” asked Rei who looked at her with indifference.

Misato gulped back down the bile that was rising from her throat. Just follow the plan, get the records, and go to the meeting spot. That was all she had to do.

“T-T-Take me to the records room!” yelled Misato, she was sure glad that they decided to do this after everyone had left the building. 

“Which one?” questioned Rei.

“The one about the Human Instrumentality Project!” screamed Misato, her nerves fell into hyper-drive from the adrenaline.

“Very well” said Rei as she pulled open a drawer, pulled out her NERV ID card, and got up from her desk. “Let’s go then”

“You won’t let me into a trap, right?!” 

“No, I will take you there. Don’t you want answers?”

“Yes..I do”

.

.

The walk and elevator ride to the, supposed, record room had lasted way too long for comfort. It didn’t help that Rei seemed oddly calm about the situation like she wanted Misato to see these top-secret records that could expose NERV and destroy it forever. It was all working out too smoothly for comfort, Misato looked around as they walked to the room to make sure no one was tailing them but no came even as they reached the room. It was just as unassuming as the rest of the doors in the building except it had a card lock in place of the door handle, Rei swiped the card and pushed the door open.

The room was filled to the ceiling with boxes that contained folders full of papers, it was incredibly organized and the selves were labeled to indicate what they were. Rei walked the selves until she went to a walkway that was labeled ‘SEELE’ and looked through the folders until she handed Misato a folder filled to the brim with papers, it was even wrapped in rubber bands to keep it secure. It was labeled ‘Human Instrumentality Project’.

“This is what you wanted, correct?” questioned Rei.

“Why are you helping me?” asked Misato.

“Because this is what your heart desires, you must follow the heart as it is the only thing that can show you the truth you desire” smiled Rei.

“Who am I?”

“I cannot answer that, you must answer that question”

“Did you know about this?”

“Yes, I helped create it” answered Rei.

“What?! You created the Human Instrumentality Project?!”

“Incorrect, I _was_ the Human Instrumentality Project. Along with Kaworu Nagisa and Shinji Ikari” 

“But...Didn’t he destroy the project?” Misato felt even more confused now, this only raises more questions.

“Yes, he did. But he couldn’t destroy us” said Rei. “If he did, a Second Impact would occur in this world”

“This world?”

“Yes, this is a world of many”

“My dream…”

“Of a past life”

“What the hell are you?” asked Misato as she backed away from Rei, dread filling her soul as she pointed the gun, finger on the trigger, at Rei with less shaking this time.

An alarm rang out which caused Misato to fire the gun from being startled by the sudden noise. The bullet clanged to the ground, an orange barrier appeared in front of Rei, Misato dropped the papers in her hands, then she ran for her life. 

She ran because she _remembered everything_.

Rei was supposed to be dead. Kaworu was supposed to be dead.

Everyone she had know was supposed to be dead. 

This wasn’t her world.

She had died.

Third Impact had occurred yet here they were living in normalcy. 

Shinji looked so old, much older than her in that world.

Why had he made NERV? Didn’t he hate NERV?

She had to leave, her head hurt. 

She was remembering too much and different things.

Were there different worlds?

Who was she again?

Why had he left her?

_ALERT! THE LOCKDOWN SEQUENCE HAS BEGUN! ALERT!_

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Asuka stared at Terminal Dogma’s overarching, wide mechanical doors, she hated coming down here. It held too many painful memories, of that world, that weak and pathetic world. The gun pressed harder into her head, a clear sign to hurry up and open the gates to hell.

“Open the door!” yelled the voice of the past.

“Please” pleaded Kaji, always had to be the one to find the truth. Such a foolish man.

Asuka swiped her access card, the door flew open and lights came on, there was a balcony of sorts with steel railing that seemed to hold in the void that went over the edge. A sea of orange liquid could be seen extending into the black void, a giant red cross that looked to be suspended in midair was coming out of the liquid, and inside the cross looked to be the remains of machines but bloodied spines and bones that lined the inside of the cross. 

The people walked into the chamber, Asuka held her gaze as if daring someone or something, the informant smiled widely and was getting an almost orgasmic reaction from seeing the cross, Kaji walked over the railing and saw the various body parts floating in the orange sea, he wanted to throw up from the sight.

“I thought you might be here…” said a voice from the other side of the room.

They turned their heads to see Shinji Ikari, still wearing his uniform, looking at them with a dead look in his eyes, his hands were in his pockets and he walked towards them at a slow but deliberate pace. The informant grabbed Asuka by the arm, pulled her close to him and pointed the gun at her head once again.

“You take one more step, Ikari. I’ll blow her brains out, I’d love to see this bitch die” smiled the man.

Shinji stopped, only a few feet away from them now, “Getting bloodthirsty already?”

“I told you that we weren’t going to hurt anyone!” yelled Kaji, his confliction growing.

“Shut up! I don’t care what you said! The plan’s already in motion! You don’t matter anymore!” yelled the man.

“Did SEELE forget to tell you that they were just using you Kaji? They never cared about you, they just wanted to get into NERV” said Shinji. 

“I’m fine with that! As long as I can avenge my brother, I will deal with that!” yelled Kaji pointing his gun at the Commander of NERV.

“Tell me, who killed your brother? Did Fuyutsuki tell you that it was me? Did he tell you that I destroyed SEELE’s grand plan to help humanity? Or that I wanted to take over the government for my own?” asked Shinji.

“He did!” Kaji was shaking, “If that isn’t true, then explain what the hell this thing is!”

“You know what they are, Kaji. Think about it” pleaded Shinji.

“Kaji, I swear I’ll kill you as well if you start listening to him!” yelled the informant.

“Listen to your dreams, Kaji. What have they said to you?!” called out Asuka.

“Shut up!” The man hit Asuka once more, causing her lip to burst, spitting out drops of blood.

“How do you know about that?” muttered Kaji.

“Because this isn’t the first time you’ve been finding out the truth, Kaji. Listen to me, you know me, I wouldn’t lie to you. I wanted to tell you about your brother” explained Shinji.

“Liar!” screamed Kaji.

“No! He’s telling the truth! You have to remember Kaji! Remember who we are!” called out Asuka.

“SEELE doesn’t want to help humanity, that thing is a result of their experiments! They were the ones that killed your brother!” explained Shinji.

“Kaji-I swear! Don’t listen to them, I won’t have you fuck up the plan!” yelled the man.

Kaji's body grew shakier has he listened to the conflicting voices in front of him and in his overcrowding head. He wanted to believe what had been told to him these past several years but his dreams kept telling him to listen to the enemy. He wanted to scream out, his head hurt way too much. Things weren’t adding up…

“Kaji, do you remember that time you took us to the aquarium? You gave that idiot over there one of your cigarettes, he didn’t stop coughing for a week after that. Misato was so mad at you that she’d cut off your cigarettes when you pulled one out in front of her. I wouldn’t lie to you, Kaji. I love you too much to do that” laughed Asuka.

Everything happened in slow motion after those words.

The man’s face became red as he wrapped his finger around the trigger in order to pull it.

 _A person’s truth is so simple, that most ignore it to concentrate on what they think are deeper truths_.

He had said those words, hadn't he? So long ago.

_Help me, Mr. Kaji!_

Shinji’s face twisted into fear as he began to run towards the hot-headed Captain.

**BANG!**

A sudden pain went through Kaji’s arm.

**BANG!**

The man fell to the floor in a bloodied heap, Kaji felt his legs give out on him as he dropped the gun, a pair of arms grabbed him before he could fall to the ground completely. He didn’t know who it was, the voices were too muddled to make them out.

“Find her...has records....” sputtered out Kaji as he fell into darkness.

“Do you have him?” asked Shinji.

“Yeah, go find Misato. Make she’s safe, okay?” answered Asuka.

“I will” Shinji ran off while calling for a full base lockdown.

He would keep his promise. He was coming back.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Misato pushed the button for the elevator, she pushed the button over and over until her finger burned from her frenzy. She had to get out of here, she had to find Kaji. She hated the fact that she was even at an elevator, the cage had come up, the cage of famarilaty. The cage of adultery, the cage of spilled emotions and the cage of death.

“MISATO!” yelled out a voice, she could hear it clearly even with the alarms blaring. 

It was the Commander, he was out of breath as he stood at the end of the hallway, he started walking towards the elevator, towards Misato. She pointed her gun at him, he didn't stop, not even for a moment.

“I’ll shoot! Don’t come any closer!” yelled Misato.

Shinji didn’t say anything as he walked faster, Misato pulled the trigger but the bullet only grazed his arm, he didn’t even flinch or grunt in pain. He just kept moving forward until he was standing inches away from Misato, she dropped the gun and tears fell from her eyes. He cupped her smooth face in his rough burned hands, leaned into her where his lips were brushing against hers.

They didn’t move an inch.

.

.

“Why?” cried Misato.

.

.

“It’s simple, I promised you” breathed Shinji.

.

.

**Author's Note:**

> That was certainly a ride, right?
> 
> I'll put out the second parts eventually but it will take time.
> 
> Thank you for reading and have a good day!


End file.
